Verse 1 Well I woke up this mornin’ preachin’ honesty and truth, Then I lied about my breakfast and blamed it on the youth. I said, “Integrity’s important,” while I cut in line again, And I told the guy behind me, “Brother, patience is a friend.” I’m a walking contradiction with a smile that’s heaven sent, Yeah, I stand for everything I stand against. Chorus ’Cause I stand for everything I stand against, I’m consistent in my chaos, and I take it as a strength. I’ll fight for every principle… unless it’s inconvenient, Yeah, I stand for everything I stand against. Verse 2 I tell folks to be humble while I brag about my day, Say we all should follow rules… except the ones that get my way. I preach about forgiveness, then I hold a grudge for years, Say “We gotta face our problems,” while I disappear from here. I’m a master of the moral twist, a saint with no intent, Yeah, I stand for everything I stand against. Chorus ’Cause I stand for everything I stand against, I’m consistent in my chaos, and I take it as a strength. I’ll fight for every principle… unless it’s inconvenient, Yeah, I stand for everything I stand against. Bridge Now some folks call me hypocrite, but I don’t take offense, I just tell ’em, “Takes a genius to be this inconsistent.” I’m the hero of my story, even when I’m wrong, And I’ll argue both sides proudly in the same damn song. Final Chorus ’Cause I stand for everything I stand against, I’m a paradox in boots, and I parade it with intent. If you’re lookin’ for consistency, I’m sorry — I’m exempt, Yeah, I stand for everything I stand against. Oh, I stand for everything I stand against.